It is cold at Christmas. The nights are so long; so much time to dream.
It is this time of year when my mind drifts back to my childhood, to memories of people who used to be my world but who have slowly faded out of existence.
For so many the holidays are filled with grief, worry, or loneliness. Each card or add on TV reminds that another year has gone by without perfection, without peace. When you look at Christmas with the ghost of Christmas past at your side; it is not easy, nor is it fun.
But then, what compels us to haul out the holly and make it happen year after year? Maybe we can learn something from this Holiday if we move towards it rather than away. What does Christmas have to offer me?
Christmas might be haunted, but it is not just haunted by the past; it is also carries the seed of hope for the New Year. Deep within the stories, legends, and traditions this holiday presents a glimmer of the light I crave in the depth of winter.
Christmas reminds us that in the depth of night we are still powerful, we can channel our better nature and find light in the darkness.
So even though the sun isn't shining today, even though I am cold, even though my dad is dead. I still plug in the lights each night, as he would have.
As I engage in the rituals and sing the songs I slowly open my heart to Christmas
It might be painful to reminisce, but it is also wonderful to invite those Christmas ghosts to my table and to let them show me how I have grown this year. We talk not just about what has been, but also what is; what will be.
Yes, life is full at this time of year, not just with gifts and cookies and carols. Life is full with sorrow, with joy, with wonder, and above all with love. All these feelings are not my enemies, nor are they my goals, they are my life. Thank you Christmas, for the reminder that I am alive and that life is rich.
For I've grown a little leaner, grown a little colder
Grown a little sadder, grown a little older
And I need a little angel sitting on my shoulder
I need a little Christmas now