The Hope at the Bottom

Do you know the myth of Pandora’s Box?
Here is a good telling of it by the podcast “greeking out”. It is made for children but I love this podcast.

https://kids.nationalgeographic.com/zeus-the-mighty

My basic version is this.

Zeus was mad so he made the first woman, Pandora, and gave her a terrible gift to punish mankind. (there is way too much to say about the patriarchy here, but I don’t have time so please just bear with me)
So because Zeus was really mad he took all the ”bad” parts of life; plague, death, famine, war, etc. and he stuffed them into a jar (over time this has been translated as a box). He gave the jar to Pandora as a “wedding dowery” without telling her what was inside and with the instructions that she should never open it. THEN because, again, he was very mad he also endowed her with insatiable curiosity. Zeus is a dick.
Eventually Pandora did open the jar and the second she did, all the bad shit flew out into the world. She gasped and quickly closed the lid. She wept, because who wouldn’t.
Then there was a realization there was one thing left in the jar…at the very bottom…it was hope.

OUCH

What a terrible story..and also what a terrible truth.

Hope is often all we are left with. When we are hit with trauma, doesn’t it seem like hope is the bruse that forms in its wake? It hangs about… taunting us, or at least telling us that the story isn’t over.

I feel like the world has been reckoning with hope a lot lately. We are somewhere in the pandemic, and all the loss and division and judgment and grief are free in the world. The jar is open and pain is running amok. Those of us still standing, are standing with hope. It may seem dim, or heavy, or hard to access, but I assure you hope still resides in the world like a residue of all we have been through.

I should say, I don’t think hope is good. I think it may be just as evil and painful as the rest of the contents of that jar. I used to think that hope was what carried us when we were low, but I know better now. Grief has taught me how cruel hope can be when it is pointed at the past or something impossible. No, I don’t see hope as a positive or negative thing anymore. It just is a thing I can’t seem to shake. I rip off the lid, turn the jar over and over but hope seems to be stuck to the bottom.

Hope is an inevitable part of the human experience. https://poets.org/poem/hope-thing-feathers-254

Hope is here, still, after all the terrible pain and sorrow ….it lingers.

And so I have an idea… it is less about how to find hope in dark days, and more about what to do with it.

Any ideas?…

What is Expressive Arts Therapy?

The Expressive Arts unify and amplify all the various creative arts therapies listed here. The idea of expressive arts work is simple: creativity heals.

Ceremonial therapy sets change and transformation in to repeatable action. Learn how to use the symbols that surround you to make meaning and magic, over and over.

Dance and movement therapy unlocks deep physical knowing. Learn to enjoy connection to your body and to appreciate all the wisdom it holds.

Biblio/poetry therapy moves understanding into consciousness through exciting and imaginative writing prompts. Take what is inside of you and give it a voice.

Music therapy taps into the human spirit via our deep and fundamental connection to rhythm and melody. Rejoice in the healing power of song by listening to music, tapping your foot to a beat, or making a playlist.

Drama/narrative therapy illuminates that all the world is a stage and centers the value of storytelling in human agency. Rehearse playing with life, remember that you are the narrator of your own story.

Visual art therapy bypasses the logical mind and brings the unconscious into perspective. Use symbols, shapes, and colors to understand yourself from an entirely new angle.

Podcast on Grief and Trauma and Counseling...

I did this podcast with my friend, Aspen Webster, a while back in Feb. of 2021 and I am not sure where it got published. And it is too good a conversation not to share!!
I could talk about grief and trauma all day (especially with Aspen).
If you give it a listen let me know what you think.
-G

Re-Entry Ritual

In this video, I take myself through a re-entry ritual to help myself reorient to life as the restrictions of the pandemic ease.

Materials used:

Media: Art by Frank Moth from Veria, Greece Poem by Amanda Gormand "The Miracle of Mourning" Music by Nina Simon "Here Comes the Sun"

Herbs: matchstick, bay leaf, sweetgrass, palo santo, white sage, rose petal (all ethically sourced)

Stuff: burn bowl lighter mask hand sanitizer (from Trader Joe's)

Questions asked: I have felt trapped by... I have felt freed by... I forgive myself for... I return with... I look forward to sharing... I am helping to create a world where...

If you want to join along start by journaling about those six questions listed above. Then gather one herb (or item) to burn for each question. Then you can follow along with my actions in the video jusyt inserting your answers to the questions when they come up.
If you want to watch the poem or hear the song on your own media here are the links:

Amanda Gormand the Miracle of Morning

Nina Simone Here Comes the Sun

Or maybe there is some other poem or song you want to put in there that is more applicable to your story.

Although I did this mostly for myself I hope that my process here is useful to you as something you can emulate or transmute for yourself. We all need to honor this big transition we are in.
Welcome home to a new you.
warmly,
Genevieve

Eros Love. The love the creates.

In this series, I am going to write about and explore several different types of love in an effort to better understand the nature of love and what it is in the world. At the end of this post is a story and creative prompt to tap yourself deeper into it.

There is LanGUagE in this particular post. Watch out if that might offend you.

Let’s talk about sex…uhm, let’s talk about desire…oh, let’s talk about pleasure…wait, let’s talk about creativity.

Yes! Creativity.

I know that I always head directly towards creativity and play, y’all BUT how is that different from sexuality exactly?

(It isn’t!)

Imagine, if you will, a beautiful muse; a goddess of inspiration. She calls to us to paint or fuck or paint ourselves fucking. This is eros the bringer of desire. It is the wellspring of the libidinal energy that flows through our bodies.

More about libidinal energy here.

Now if we thought attachment got a bad wrap, libido is ALWAYS in the doghouse.

It is often subjugated as an immature, base, or sinful part of self. How many times have we gotten the message that to stay up all night having sex or writing our novel, or eating chocolate is gluttonous and will wreck our lives? (Many many times).

The reasons for this are more complex than I can properly reference here, but it has a lot to do with control.
Basically, we as humans learned long ago that if we could control someone’s urges or sexual desires we could control them. We can more easily fit them into our boxes of understanding when we remove desire entirely. This particularly applies to female sexuality and sexuality that is not hetero normative. Diverse sexual expressions have been manipulated and devalued repeatedly to subjugate those populations and control their ability to express themselves. This indicates that sexuality and libidinal energy is in fact our power source for creation and revolution.

Let me say that again; Eros is our power to create.

It pulls us towards playfulness and expression. It creates in us a craving for change. It opens us to potential. It taps us into the divine; the creator.

Wow.

I like this type of love.

In my work as a celebrant, I find myself at the intersection of libidinal energy a lot because it is the energy of revolution and change. Same to be said for psychotherapy (which It might be said was born out of an imbalance of libidinal energy created in the victorian era). In my practice I clearly see it in the romantic relationships I work with; erotic expression mirrors relational health. In grief, it is the desire to go forward even in the face of death (the relationship between death and eros is long established as one of the most important there is). And as an expressive arts therapist, I work with libido as I invite people to step into their creative selves and seek advice from their muses.

Truthfully, I am in the business of desire, y’all.

There is no time or space in this pandemic world for me to make a video for you. So, I am going to refer you to this TED video about the story or Eros (cupid) and Psyche.
The prompt is to write to a poem (obviously) about your own power of creation and what it feels like when you tap into it.
Feel free to tag me @passagewayarts if you post it somewhere.

Storge; The LOVE That Binds

In this series, I am going to write about and explore several different types of love in an effort to better understand the nature of love and what it is in the world. At the end of this post is a video with a mediation and art activity to tap yourself deeper into it.

A Word About Attachments

Attachment gets a bad wrap. Check it out…

“Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed that is. Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.” Yoda

“Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached.” Simone Weil

“A Feeling of Attachment towards something is your clue that there is work t be done.” - Baba Ram Das

“ Attachment is the source of all suffering.” Buddha

“All hurt is founded on attachment to anything regardless of its nature. When we detach we vibrationally send ourselves back into the flow of life.”
― Dr. Jacinta Mpalyenkana, Ph.D, MBA

They aren’t wrong. As a grief counselor, I see this pain day in and day out. It hurts THE MOST to lose the people we are attached to death and disease. I am not brazen enough to argue with these masters because they are 100% correct and I don’t think this the whole story either.

Here is the deal, what does a “detached” life look like? It isn’t pretty either.

“A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don't function as we were meant to. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache. We hurt others. We get sick.” — Brene Brown

We need each other, that is the simple truth of being a human being that we all know in our bones. We need to feel secure and attached and held as babies and that need does not end nor does it “mature” out of us.

If we eliminate all attachments we will become a world of hermits, monks, and sociopaths. Not all terrible things to be, but it will become difficult to survive as a species pretty quickly if we all follow that route.

While eliminating attachments gains us wisdom and independence, it also unbinds us from the very root of what it means to be human; community.

So…sorry, y’all…we have to attach… that is just human nature… AND we don’t have to attach to everything.

The opportunity here is learning to notice what we attach to and why. It is incredibly valuable and healthy to notice what we are hitching our wagons to. Is it a thought? A material possession? An animal? Our parents? Our lovers? Our children? Our gods?

Once we notice what we are attached to then the next step is to notice what that attachment feels like. Is it stuck? Draining? Nourishing? Confusing? Energizing?

When we attach to people and things that do not nurture us, it is always a losing battle.

Attachments to outcomes, abusers, or fears set us on a road to great pain and great cost BUT when we attach to that which enriches us and waters us with love…well that is well worth it…well worth it.

If you want to learn more about attachment theory (which focuses a lot on children and then some on monogamous partnerships) start here.

It is fun to know your “attachment style” and stuff, but don’t let it bog you down, please. The way we attach and what we attach to can and does evolve right along with us (debatable in the theory, but pretty true in my lived experience).

So, if you are aiming for a deeply and securely attached partnership or for a Yoda-like attachment to The Force all and any of that is well within your reach.

Point is, you will attach to something or someone because that is what are brains are designed to do AND you have some say in what you attach to; make it count.

OK so What is Storge?

It is a Greek word for a type of love that is deeply bonded and affectionate; like between a parent and child.

I am thinking of it as attachment or a binding love. I definitely feel this kind of love towards my dog. He is pretty cute and when I see him I feel this weird desire to touch his fur. Same with my kiddos of course, but the desire there is to smell the tops of their heads (what can I say, parenthood is weird).
If any of the people or animals I feel Storge for were in danger I am pretty sure I would kick into some kind of nervous system hyperdrive to save them.
This love feels to me like a knee-jerk reaction; it is the most natural thing.
And I also have this love for some of my adult friends and family members too. However, the impulse to smell hair and protect from danger is lesser to an impulse to stay connected. I want to check in on these people…just because they are on my mind. It is important to me that they know they are important to me, and best part is they generally reciprocate in kind letting me know that I matter just because I do.

My guess is that is storge love, or at least how it looks in my life.

Here is a brief meditation and creative prompt for you to explore how Storge love shows up in your life.

Steps:

1. Gather several items that connect you to Storge love or those who you feel most bonded to

2. Make a little still life arrangement of Storge love for yourself

3. Light a candle there, draw it, paint it, photograph it, spend the day with it

The quick and "easy" medicine of gratitude

Gratitude is a practice, not an accident. Like all practices sometimes it is easier to access than others. However, it is certainly always available to us. And, goodness, it is nourishing! When we make conscious time to turn our thoughts towards gratitude, we are rewarded with the sweetest medicine.

To help you connect a little to your own gratitude, here is a little guided meditation for Thanksgiving 2020. It has been for many a very complicated year and being grateful might feel like a particular struggle.

Case in point, it was very difficult for me to find a spare moment to record this because of all the “fullness” of my life right now. In different times it would certainly be more polished and better recorded. Still, I submit it in all its imperfections, and I remain grateful for the ability to share the gifts of my spirit with you, fellow traveler.
May it shift our perspective a bit towards beautiful humility and our deep connection to all things good.
-g

Bonus idea: Make ART! Use the template provided to draw, write, color, or collage your gratitude tree. Then hang your art somewhere where you will see it when you need reminding of just how grateful you are.

1. roots- what or who nourishes me?

2. trunk- what or who supports me?

3. branches- what or who calls me to grow?

4. leaves- what or who receives my gifts?

Bonus, bonus idea! Do a little gratitude ritual/practice that I like to call Gratitude Gulps.

Simple instructions; When you drink water today, for every sip you take bring to mind a person, place, asspect, experience, or thing that you are grateful for. No wrong answers and be silent about it, no one needs to know. Just drink your water like normal, while thinking of things you are thankful for. Easy.

The goal is to be quickly refreshed, in body and spirit.

A Prayer for Us

”This is a perfect moment. It's a perfect moment because I have been inspired to say a gigantic
prayer. I've been roused to unleash a divinely greedy, apocalyptically healing prayer
for each and every one of us -- even those of us who don't believe in the power of prayer.

And so I am starting to pray right now to the God of Gods . . . the God beyond all Gods
. . . the Girlfriend of God . . . the Teacher of God . . . the Goddess who invented God.

DEAR GODDESS, you who always answer our very best questions, even if we ignore you:

Please be here with us right now. Come inside us with your sly slippery slaphappy
mojo. Invade us with your silky succulent salty sweet haha.

Hear with our ears, Goddess. Breathe with our lungs. See through our eyes.


DEAR GODDESS, you who never kill but only change:

I pray that my exuberant, suave, and accidental words will move you to shower
ferocious blessings down on everyone who reads or hears this benediction.

I pray that you will give us what we don't even know we need -- not just
the boons we think we want, but everything we've always
been afraid to even imagine or ask for.


DEAR GODDESS, you wealthy anarchist burning heaven to the ground:

Many of us don't even know who we really are.

We've forgotten that our souls live forever.

We're blind to the fact that every little move we make sends ripples through
eternity. Some of us are even ignorant of how extravagant, relentless,
and practical your love for us is.

Please wake us up to the shocking truths. Use your brash magic to help us see
that we are completely different from what we've been led to believe,
and more exciting than we can possibly imagine.

Guide us to realize that we are all unwitting messiahs who are much too
big and ancient to fit inside our personalities.


DEAR GODDESS, you sly universal virus with no ... opinion:

Help us to be disciplined enough to go crazy in the name of creation, not destruction.

Teach us to know the distinction between oppressive self-control and liberating self-control.

Awaken in us the power to do the half-right thing when it is impossible
to do the totally right thing.

And arouse the Wild Woman within us -- even if we are men.


DEAR GODDESS, you who give us so much love and pain mixed together
that our morality is always on the verge of collapsing:

I beg you to cast a boisterous love spell that will nullify all the dumb ideas,
bad decisions, and nasty conditioning that have ever cursed all of us wise and sexy virtuosos.

Remove, banish, annihilate, and laugh into oblivion any jinx that has clung to us,
no matter how long we have suffered from it, and even if we have become accustomed
or addicted to its ugly companionship.

Conjure an aura of protection around us so that we will receive
an early warning if we are ever about to act in such a way
as to bring another hex or plague into our lives in the future.


DEAR GODDESS, you psychedelic mushroom cloud at the center of all our brains:

I pray that you will inspire us to kick our own asses with abandon and regularity.

Give us bigger, better, more original sins and wilder, wetter, more interesting problems.

Help us learn the difference between stupid suffering and smart suffering.

Provoke us to throw away or give away everything we own that
encourages us to believe we're better than anyone else.

Brainwash us with your compassion so that we never love
our own freedom more than anyone else's freedom.

And make it illegal, immoral, irrelevant, unpatriotic, and totally tasteless
for us to be in love with anyone or anything that's no good for us.


DEAR GODDESS, you riotously tender, hauntingly reassuring, orgiastically sacred feeling
that is even now running through all of our soft, warm animal bodies:

I pray that you provide us with a license to bend and even break all
rules, laws, and traditions that hinder us from loving the world the way you do.

Show us how to purge the wishy-washy wishes that distract us
from our daring, dramatic, divine desires.

And teach us that we can have anything we want if we
will only ask for it in an unselfish way.


DEAR GODDESS, you who just pretend to be crazy so you can
get away with doing what's right:

Help us to be like you -- wildly disciplined, voraciously curious, exuberantly elegant,
shockingly friendly, fanatically balanced, blasphemously reverent,
mysteriously truthful, teasingly healing, lyrically logical, and blissfully rowdy.

And now dear God of Gods, God beyond all Gods, Girlfriend of God, Teacher of God,
Goddess who invented God, I bring this prayer to a close, trusting
that in these pregnant moments you have begun to change all of us
in the exact way we needed to change in order to become
the gorgeous geniuses we were born to be.

Amen
Om
Hallelujah
Shalom
Namaste
More power to you


Oh, but one more thing DEAR GODDESS, you ... who scorns all mediocre longing:

Please give us donkey clown pinatas full of chirping crickets,
ceramic spice jars containing 10 million-year-old salt from the Himalayas,
gargoyle statues guaranteed to scare away the demons,
lucid dreams while we're wide awake,
enough organic soup and ice cream to feed all the refugees,
emerald parachutes and purple velvet gloves and ladders made of melted-down guns,
a knack for avoiding other people's personal hells,
radio-controlled, helium-filled flying rubber sharks to play with,
magic red slippers to contribute to the hopeless,
bathtubs full of holy water to wash away our greed,
secret admirers who are not psychotic stalkers,
mousse cakes baked in the shapes of giant question marks,
stories about lightning strikes that burn down towers where megalomaniacal kings live,
solar-powered sex toys that work even in the dark,
knowledge of secret underground rivers,
mirrors that the Dalai Lama has gazed into,
and red wagons carrying the treats we were deprived of in childhood.

prayer for us - rob brezsny - 2005”

Mercury goes retrograde in the middle of a global pandemic with a whole undertone of social unrest and injustice during an incredibly unhealthy political environment and no end in sight.

By Rebestalic - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, Link

It is always handy to have a map but when it comes down to it; we are where we are.

Me and My Shadow

My friend and creative partner, Amber Lackey, normally works with me to co-host a Holiday Arts Workshop at Halloween each year. This year we had to cancel because of rainy cold weather and so we got together to create a little something for those of you who long to walk with your Ghosts.

Plug this track in on your next walk and enjoy a guided meditation/mini ceremony all for your self.

A little note to the travelers that this is not psychotherapy; rather it is ceremony and play. If it works for you use it, if not do what does.

Happy Halloween!

NonDuality and Me

What do you think of when you hear “spiritual counselor”? I’ll tell you what I think of; bible verses in the therapy room.
It conjures up for me a practice where a “guru” or “minister” tells you how to be. I think of the thousands of years of injury and oppression that religions, teaming with white supremacy and patriarchy, have inflicted upon the world. I think of the crusades, and AIDS, and Jonestown, and acculturation, and the gross injustice of the “power of positive thinking” movement. Ugh.

It isn’t a good look.

BUT

Heads up, I am going to start calling myself a spiritual counselor. I feel myself moving more and more in that direction…or rather I feel myself finally allowing that to be true. I am not sure what it means for my practice or my branding, but I think most you probably knew it before I did.
I recently found my typed notes from a course in grad school I took on non-duality. They are non-linear and unedited. Check it out.

Non-duality

Foundationaly important for how we work w clients

The tao that can be talked about is not the tao

"Not two" The end of the scriptures, end of knowledge, self knowledge in relation to everything. End or goal of spiritual questing. Is not two. Atman and bratman. Atman is individual continuousness, bratman is cosmic continuousness. Atman is bratman. Not two. Equal sign between them. Essentially saying “i am god, you are god.” Yoga is method prescribed for attaining this realization. Many different paths all yoga.

Artie Mandell physics, cosmology, quantum level or cosmic level things get strange. Consistent with Eastern traditions. Science has led us there as well.

"Both in and out of the game and wondering about it"...Whittman.

Put your self on in the morning. But we are not those things! We contain them all but are not them. For the forgetful as they put them selves on in the morning they have forgotten parts of them self so it is easier to see that they are not those things. Get out of yourself. Forgetting yourself is a fast way out. But sometimes it seems like people try to hold on to the shreds of themselves that are left. What makes that difference? How can we alleviate the holding on to self? By letting go of our own sense of self?
Modeling the deep belief that we are connected some how.
You are incarnate in the work.
Positive counter transference.

Both and...thinking. But it is pointed at the difference between self and other. It does and it doesn’t. Diagnosis is dualistic. I am not sick you are sick thinking is limited thinking. The expert position is Separating as opposed to we have a disease or something is happening here. Questions. Put myself in there quickly? Over shined? Can you help me? Safety when therapist joins? Because the field is not safe.

Within non dualism there is room for dualism?
The world is named and marked and it is also an illusion. The allegory of the cave.
Therapist shines light in the cave. That is all…
Cruel? Expert thinking? Who wants light shined in their cave?!
It is a shitty thing to do to someone! Especially at the end of their life when they are about to leave the cave! Or maybe the light revealing the cave makes it easier to leave the cave. No; just sit there with them.
They must do it themselves.

No one wants to be fixed, just loved!!!!!

Are we one or are we two? Are we neither or both? being witnessed will change the experience.

“I am connected to you” is dualistic. “I am you” is non duel. The frame is necessary for safety. Boundaries are important, dualistic thinking is useful? Relationship is dualistic. To call nondualistic good is to call dualism bad. That creates a split. My greatest tool is my self... And you.
Comparing non-duel vs. duel seems ridiculous. Be in the world and not of it! Have and don’t own. Can't i believe in a non duel reality and a duel reality? I am self and i am not; God in three persons. They are both true! I am both separate and i am connected.
It is both the beginning and the end.

Caspar David Friedrich_-_Der_Mönch_am_Meer - The Monk By the Sea

Warmth. The music behind the words. Freud actually said, "it is love that heals"…
What brings you peace, beloved client? "interconnectedness"
I want to be of service.
Genevieve, you see all of this and can you use it?
Non-duality is both everything and every thing.

As a therapist, and a celebrant, my work is to lovingly and patiently awaken clients to their own truth. However, it is also to help them realize their role in creating that truth and to dip toes in the deep waters of unknowing. That sounds pretty spiritual to me, y’all.

I believe that all therapeutic work is spiritual work, because true healing happens across all the plains of life; physical, mental, emotional, social, etc.; and that includes spiritual!

Yep, best to call a spade a spade; I am a spiritual counselor. I agree to own all of that label. I can hold the duality of religion; it’s ability to both heal and hurt. I keep awareness on the lineage I come from; there is a nasty kind of danger in stepping into a power that has long been abused. I know the history of this work isn’t clean. In fact, Spirituality isn’t clean at all (why should it be?). IT IS DIRTY WORK… But it is real, and it is important ,and it is clearly who I am.

So, send me your outcasts, your empaths, and your creative types; those longing for love and connection with their own souls. I am ready to sit in the cave with them and see what we uncover.

Labyrinth Lover

Sometimes folks ask me, “why the labyrinth?'“. I love the shape and look of a labyrinth, and I think it covers a good deal of what my practice is. It is about consciousness, in that it is based in a meditative practice. It is creative in that each labyrinth is designed and created to sit in its unique world and serve its community. Change is goal of each labyrinth as it invites us to walk on a journey of transformation.

If you live in Austin and would like to walk a labyrinth, the link below is a list of places you can meet a labyrinth and explore it yourself.

https://labyrinthlocator.com/locate-a-labyrinth?city=austin&state=TX&simple_results=no&action=locate&offset=0

Marriage and Love

I write and perform a lot of weddings. I also do a good deal of couples counseling AND I happen to be married myself, so to say marriage is something I think a-lot about would be putting it lightly.

Perhaps that is why this episode of the Hidden Brain podcast from last year struck me so deeply.

https://www.npr.org/2018/02/12/584531641/when-did-marriage-become-so-hard

I think it should be required listening for all of us who think a-lot about marriage. And may we all find our way to the top of the mountain.

Enjoy, Genevieve

Art of the Heart

These were made for the Art of the Heart Workshop 2019. Mixed and recorded by Genevieve and Amber for our friends.

---

Spiral Meditation.

Find a quiet spot, grab a journal, and enjoy.

PAINTING MEDITATION.

Set up some art supplies; paint, water, brushes, and canvas in a beautiful spot.

DANCING Meditation.

Find a private place where you have space to move.

apothecary..tea.

Honestly, you can’t do this one at home without a lot of set up…but it is cool.

The Art of Giving and Receiving

Most of us get overwhelmed by gift giving this season.

We thoughtlessly bumble about collecting items that may somehow represent our social relationships and obligations; or worse we spend hours shopping for just the right thing for those we love to no avail.

It can be quite the rollercoaster! …not to mention the sometimes awkward and often painful feelings that can come up as we give our gifts and watch others open them.

Oh, then there is all the emotional baggage we can feel in that moment when someone hands US a gift.

Yikes!

Do we have to?

Well, yes, we probably do.

So how can we survive…and maybe even thrive through the process?

Here are a few little rituals you can fold into your gifting routines. It is late for Chanukah this year (sorry!), but hopefully these can help those of us with Christmas shopping still to do.

Oh, and maybe circle back here when it is birthday time?

GIVING

• Breathe- before you step into the store or open up the browser; take a second. Connect with your breath in whatever way you do so and let your breath support your process.
  Notice how it changes and flows as you peruse and collect.
  Let your breath guide you.

• Set a budget- Making the simple decision of how much you want to spend before you begin can shift the experience. Set a budget not just over all, but per person. (maybe that feels icky to you… ask yourself why?)
  Money is a symbol and if you can invite yourself to consciously unpack it a bit, it will loom less threatening over the shopping experience.
  Remember, how much money you spend is not a sign of how much love you feel…unless you want it to be.

• Dedicate time- Go ahead and care for yourself by scheduling shopping/creating, and wrapping sessions.
  Your time is valuable and it is part of the gift.
  If you can set aside time to focus your full attention on the process, it may lead to a more enjoyable and mindful gifting practice.
  Maybe even light a candle as you settle in to wrap, little rituals like that matter.

• Detox- What do you do to release tension? Yoga? baths? walks? work outs? cooking? crafting?
  Try setting aside a space to do so more often than usual during gifting season.

• Use Santa Claus-  Humans creatd these archetypes for a reason. The idea or spirit of Santa/St. Nick can help us get through this.
  Call on him to inspire you. Maybe when you see Santa out and about he is pointing the way to mindfulness as you give. Sit down and meditate with him; ask Santa what it means to give.
  When you feel worried about how your gifts will be received channel some Santa spirit and give anonymously or with no strings attached.
  Not a fan? What other holiday archetype can you draw in? (Frosty, elves, Rudolph, temple keepers lighting candles, baby Jesus or Mother Mary, sheep, angels, etc.)

• How to let yourself off the hook- Sitting around and worrying about what to get someone is torturous. So much so that many of us simply ask for lists from loved ones so that we don’t have to guess what they might like, or maybe we just give money or gift cards in hopes that the gift receiver will unburden us of our work by just buying themselves something. That is fine, but it isn’t the right choice in all relationships.
  Love is hard, brave, work and part of that is tolerance of getting it wrong sometimes. 
  No need to fret if you can’t find the right gift to express your love You don’t have to make the other person do your work for you!
  Do this instead; take out a piece of paper. find something to write or draw with. imagine the receiver, imagine them feeling the way you would like them to feel when they open your gift. Draw a large heart on the paper. At the bottom of the page write “I.O.U.”. Put the heart in an envelope write their name on it. If the big day rolls around and you still haven’t found an appropriate gift, give them the envelope. Tell them you love them, that their gift will come later. Trust that you will find it some day. Wait. See their gift randomly. buy it or make it. give it to them immediately. Hugs. 
  See, it is okay to think outside the box.

RECIEVING

• Breathe- Use your breath to guide you through the receiving process.
  Let it hold you as you open your heart and let the love flow through you like air.

• Imagine a Wall- If you feel overwhelmed by the energy of others coming your way via gifts, this one is for you.
  Before you go into an experience where you know you will be given gifts, build some rudimentary imaginary boundaries. Make one very permeable, like a line drawn on the ground. Make one semi permeable, like a picket fence. Then build a very strong fortified one, like out of brick. Once they are imagined, add a gate or doorway in each one. Again the gate should reflect the level of security needed per wall.
  Then as you receive each gift, imagine it must pass through one of these walls to reach you.
  You decide what gets past the boundary and into your world.

• USE SANTA, Y’ALL!- When was the last time you visited Santa? You know he (the US postal service) receives letters from grown ups sent to the North Pole too? Find a fun way to tell Santa what you really want for Christmas.
  If you get your hopes and desires out of the way, perhaps your heart can be more open to receive.
  Maybe you will find that what you really want for Christmas isn’t things, but experiences or feelings…that is cool to know.

• Thank you notes- At the least, say thanks (I am a mom so I know that it doesn’t always come naturally, generate that thank you!). Consider writing individual notes to those who gave to you, or even thank you emails and texts.

  This old tradition really can close the whole process when done thoughtfully.
  No need to fret about what to say, we live in an age of emojis!

• Practice- Breathe. Open your palms. Imagine a bright light flowing from your heart center down your arm and into your hand. hold it there for a second. Let it warm your skin. Then thoughtfully transfer it to your other palm. relieve it. hold it there for a second. Let it warm your skin. Allow it to flow up your arm and in to your heart center. Breathe.
  (repeat as needed)
  If it is helpful you can also do this exercise with an actual item in your hand; like a marble, a candle, or a flower bud.

Please use and edit these ideas in what ever way works for you!

Regardless, just setting the goal to keep your heart open and your thoughts grounded as you give and receive will transform your experience.

Thanks for making time to be thoughtful.

May the warmth of generosity and the awareness of abundance flow through you this holiday season and every day.

-Genevieve

PSA from Thunderstorms (and a free power up ceremony)

There is nothing like a Texas thunderstorm. The hot wind knocking at oak trees and beating rain on rooftops are powerful reminders of the force of nature.

Thunderstorms can cause a great deal of destruction; knocking down trees, damaging road ways, flooding homes, and even in extreme cases taking human lives.

However, the flip side of a storm is that it quenches a dry and thirsty earth, supplying the landscape with new life and refreshing water.

The overall message of the storm is a simple one; power can be destructive and/or it can be rejuvenating. Much like a thunderstorm, we each have the ability to do both great harm and great good in this world with our thoughts and actions.

I think that we all need to be taught (or reminded) just how magnificent we are. We need to be told from the very beginning and everyday there after that we are indeed powerful. Often we get the opposite message, we are told we are not enough, that we are at the whim of circumstance and fate. But this is a lie, no matter how the world has tried to disempower us, each of us is a remarkable being capable of moving mountains.

You are powerful. I am powerful. We are powerful. The way we think, move, and relate has an impact on the world around us.

Take a second…notice your own power. Just bring your awareness to it. Where is it in your body? In your thoughts? How does it manifest? Get to know it…please.

Because most importantly, we are not actually thunderstorms. We are conscious beings and we have choice in how we put our power to use. We can use the agency and magnificence we have how ever we like.

What will you choose? How will you take action in the world, in your own life, in your body. What ever you choose, please do it consciously from a place of truly knowing who you are and what you are capable of, because if you come at life “disempowered” you are destined to wreak havoc.

There is another way.

When we become aware of, embrace, and respect our personal power then we can (each of us) water the earth with our powerful love.

---

The following is a brief ceremony you can do to get in touch with your own power

POWER UP

• read the whole ceremony before you start and make an amendments that you like

• Start by picking the right time to do this ceremony. perhaps during a thunderstorm?

• Make sure you dress in something that makes you feel very much like “you”.

• Pick a space where you already feel safe and empowered. This could be in your home or workplace, just make sure you won’t be interrupted for a few minutes.

• Gather: a candle, a lighter or matches, a piece of jewelry or a stone that you like and can wear or carry with you as needed, something sweet to eat and some favorite music of yours…perhaps a power ballad?

  dim the lights and light a candle.

  As you light the candle invite in protection and resource to guide you. You can say something like “I open to my resources and my wisdom. I am safe and protected in this space.”

  Allow your self to sit in front of the flame of the candle and look into it.

  Contemplate. Ask yourself these questions one at a time and sit quietly until you get a reply to before you move on to the next. Feel free to read the list as you go or even to briefly write the answers that come to you down in a journal.

  How am I like this light?

  What parts of me get lit up easily?

  How do I feel and think when i am lit up?

  How do I act when I am lit up?

  What holds me back from feeling lit up or empowered all the time?

  How can I lovingly move those limits out of the way for now?

  What does it feel like to be limitless?

  What would change if I could limitless all the time?

  Do I want that?

  Take the piece of jewelry or the stone and hold it over the flame as you say the following or something like “ This is mine and mine alone. I fill it now with light and resource. Let it radiate, let the heat of my own power warm it. This is mine and mine alone. May it warm me on cold days. May it remind my wandering thoughts of their own power. May it slow my actions towards wisdom. This is mine and mine alone. I am limitless.”

  Take a deep breath

  Feel the power of your own body, your thoughts, and your emotions as they are right now. Know that what ever you feel is enough and it is real.

  Feel gratitude as you put the jewelry item on or place the stone in a safe pocket to be carried with you as needed.

  Prepare to close your ceremony. Say this or something like it “I close this time in gratitude. I am safe and protected always.”

  blow the candle out.

  watch the smoke until it dissipates.

• Afterwards and as you clean up eat something sweet or listen to some empowering music. Maybe a dance party?

Back to Business

Hello Clients and Colleagues,

I am so excited to return to seeing clients (old and new).

As you might know, I’ve been away on maternity leave. Baby Sage was born two weeks after his due date in late May. He has been healthy and happy from the start. While we have had an awesome time bonding and laying on the couch together, I am so looking forward to getting back into working with those in transition.

For my therapy clients
My therapy practice focuses on couples and individuals in times of change. Sessions will again take place at the PassageWay Arts office in North East Austin on Tuesday evenings and Thursdays.
I AM NOW BOOKING ALL MY THERAPY APPOINTMENTS ONLINE!

To book a therapy appointment visit the counseling page of my website or use the button below. 

Request Appointment

For my celebrant clients
Celebrant clients who are interested in booking baby blessings, weddings, memorial service, home cleansings, or other ceremonies this fall should fill out this form.

As I return to my practice, I will continue to take on new clients – if you know someone who might benefit from my services, please feel free to forward this newsletter or share it as you see fit.

Thank you for your encouragement, patience, and well wishes while I took this break from my practice. I feel fortunate to have been able to take this maternity leave. It has been a season of healing and incorporating Sage into our family.

Warmly,

Genevieve Saenz, MA, LMFT-A 

The Stages of Change

All life transitions happen in three stages. 

• Preparation- A time of great planning and anxiety where the looming change is approaching and we are separating from our past perceptions of who we are.

• Culminating Event- The moment of "In between" when we are neither here nor there. The experience during these times is very "here and now" oriented. We may feel overwhelmed like we can't find solid footing.

• Acclimation- This is the "calm after the storm" where we slowly piece our selves back together. Grief can loom over this stage and thoughts of the past. However, it is also here that we settle into the new patterns of a new life.

Expressive Arts

Expressive Arts

1. Expressive- The focus of Expressive Arts Therapy (and perhaps all therapy) is to facilitate client expression with the goal of clarity and meaning making. Sometimes having a caring conversation is all a client needs to gain insight. However, it is really just one mode of communication in a sea of possibilities. Writing, moving, singing, stretching, laughing, crying, breathing, painting, pointing...they can all be expressions of truth. As an EXA therapist I am interested in multiple perspectives and ways of being in the world. In the expressive arts the value is always placed on the expression and the process, rather than the product.

2. Arts- There are so many ways to be an artist; a gardener is an artist at work in the medium of dirt and water and possibility. There is a reason we say "arts", with and "s". In Expressive Arts therapy there is an emphasis on all creativity and creative acts as a healing tool. Sometimes this means we pull out the paint in session, sometimes it means we play in sand or tell stories or explore song lyrics. The magic of the expressive arts is in the transition between mediums; multiple art forms can meld in to a unique creative experience. It might sound intimidating, but every arts intervention offered is simply a suggestion; an invitation to step in to your own creativity and see what treasures you can uncover there.

Baby Meets Moon

All children should be welcomed. Every new life deserves to be introduced to the earth, family, and body they were born in to. Every community is enriched by acknowledging and giving thanks for the baby. 

A welcoming ceremony can look a multitude of ways and doesn’t need to be ornate or extravagant. I encourage all new parents of new people to take the time to honor the arrival of their child in their own way. 

In anticipation of the upcoming full moon and lunar eclipse, I want to share this moon focused  baby blessing ceremony. I crafted this when I was just one day postpartum and we performed it in the bright light of his first full moon. 

Feel free to use or modify it as you see fit.  

SAGE MOON INTRO

May 29, 2018

OBJECTIVES

1. Gratitude for him

2. Aquatint him with his gifts and inheritance by naming them

3. Set him up for a healthy relationship with the moon and earth

4. Celebrate

MATERIALS NEEDED

1. Salt

2. Water in silver bowl

3. Sage and lighter

MEDIA

• Daniel 2:19
• Harold and the Purple Crayon
• The Maywomyn’s Blessing
• Moon Shadow by Cat Stevens

ACTIVITY

• Light Sage (plant not person) We open this sacred time by connecting worlds and truths through the smoke of the smudge stick. Tonight we honor the connection of this new life to earth and stars and moon and sky. We invite the spirit of God into this ceremony as we begin with a reading.
• Give thanks (mother reading)
• Touch feet to ground and see moon shadow We honor this new life and introduce him to his mother earth. May the earth hold him and root him in his strength and wisdom. Parents please touch your child’s feet to the ground and let it hold his weight for a moment.
• Name gifts and strengths (father reading)
• Introduce him to the moon by full name We stand tonight in the light of the flower moon to raise this child to the heavens and let him be seen by the open sky. May the open sky call him to evolve into all his fullness. Parents please hold your child up and speak his name aloud.
• Healthy relationship (moon reading)
• Water Blessing We honor the light of the moon. It shines into darkness to illuminate that which is deeply felt but just on the edge of contiousness. May the moon bless this child with its mystical and secret wisdom. May it remind him to shine his light into darkness, to build fires of love in times of need and to connect with his world as he grows towards his truth. (Prepare salt water to be blessed by the moon and used in his first bath)
• Celebrate with a dance We close this time together in gratitude and celebration. Sage Daniel has been held to the earth and lifted to the sky, his name has been spoken and his life is begun. May it be a life filled with joy, truth, and love. In gratitude for his life we dance in the light of the flower moon.(moon shadow by Cat Stevens)